Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
