The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
why do cheetos always look like penises
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
