You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
