fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize