He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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