She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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