Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
