just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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