he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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