we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
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Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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