Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
