I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
