So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.