Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
