when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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