Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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