Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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