is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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