question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
