If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
