I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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