How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
