He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize