I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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