he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
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somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
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Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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