your parents love me but you hate me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.