I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy