You're so nebulous sometimes
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
