Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize