I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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