what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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