I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
