She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
