Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
