I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We got so high we made milksteak
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
