sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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