Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
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