Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
