Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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