the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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