How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
