I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
