I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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