We're facebook friends in real life
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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