meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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