please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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