dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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