using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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