PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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