You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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