Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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