I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
