Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
