Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
