I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
