Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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