zippers are such a cool invention
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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