This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
