you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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