I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
